Even from a biblical perspective, the image of the First Lady kneeling before her husband can be interpreted as an omen of inequality rather than of unconstrained love
DOUGLAS RASBASH
Special Correspondent
The deeply moving display of unbridled love between the new President and his wife has touched everyone’s heart. The incoming First Lady knelt before her husband, President Duma Gideon Boko, during the inauguration ceremony.
However, there could be another less positive reaction to it. Some feminists may see it as taking Botswana back several decades while men are already seeing it as reinforcing their position of dominance in the marital setting. While some defended this display as a mark of respect rooted in tradition, others were profoundly disturbed. To many, it felt like a dissonant echo of outdated values that seem dangerously out of step with the realities and needs of modern Botswana.
In a country grappling with serious gender inequality issues, such a public demonstration risks reinforcing a patriarchal worldview that continues to harm women and hold society back. Through this item, The Botswana Gazette aims once again to focus on the serious gender issues that continue to plague our society. There is no question that love between men and women is wonderful, but does it really require submission by one party to the other?
Botswana has some of the highest rates of gender-based violence globally, including a staggering rate of rape and abuse. With a 46% divorce rate and marital rape still legal, the country’s approach to gender dynamics needs a transformation, not a re-entrenchment. Yet, the kneeling gesture – a symbolic act of submission – only reaffirms the very gender imbalances that hinder progress towards equality. If a woman in the highest echelons of public visibility is expected to demonstrate this form of deference, what message does it send to the rest of society?
Spontaneous public act
Clearly, while there is much love and respect for this spontaneous public act, other far more disturbing responses can be seen in the media, thus supporting the basis for this item. The word “submission” appears repeatedly, mostly from males, similarly “respect” for the male head of the family. There can be little doubt that there will be negative consequences for women who fail to subjugate themselves.
The challenges facing Batswana women are real and urgent. Despite the country’s progress in other domains, women’s representation in government remains dismally low. In the new chamber, only five women hold parliamentary seats. The lack of female voices in decision-making positions exacerbates the gaps in gender equality as women’s rights are often sidelined in favour of longstanding practices, such as bogadi, or bridal price, which subtly imply a transactional value on marriage.
Though defended as cultural heritage, the existence of lobola, which is mostly called bogadi in Botswana, complicates the path towards true partnership and equality in marriage, embedding a notion of male ownership that many find troubling in today’s world.
As societies evolve, they must critically assess the traditions they choose to retain. A strong society values both tradition and transformation, recognising that some practices, no matter how cherished, may no longer serve their original purpose. We must ask ourselves: Does kneeling reflect love, or does it merely reinforce subservience? Does lobola honour marriage, or does it commodify it? And perhaps most critically, what are we asking women to endure in the name of tradition? Botswana has the opportunity to set a new course by building an equitable and respectful society, not just for men but for women as well.
Resorting to the Bible
The inevitability of resorting to the Bible for justification in many social issues is to be expected in a society that has not quite evolved into a totally non-secular state. In Ephesians 5:22, where wives are asked to “submit” to their husbands, it can be interpreted today as a call for mutual support and honouring each other’s strengths, not as a mandate for obedience or subservience. The word “submit” in Greek can also be understood to mean “to support” or “to respect,” implying that wives and husbands are invited to respect each other and foster a partnership rooted in equality and understanding.
Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to “love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it”. This sacrificial love can be seen as a call for husbands to practise selflessness, empathy and respect. The example of Christ’s love is not about control or dominance but rather about self-giving, humility and unconditional commitment.
Yet, several passages in the Bible provide a counterbalance to Ephesians 5:22-25 by promoting mutual respect, equality and shared responsibility in relationships. Here are some examples:
- Genesis 1:27: The creation story emphasises that both men and women are made in the image of God, indicating an intrinsic equality. “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” This verse suggests that both genders share equal worth and dignity.
- 1 Corinthians 7:3-4: Paul speaks of mutual authority within marriage, stating: “The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” This indicates a reciprocal relationship where each partner has equal authority and mutual responsibility.
- Galatians 3:28: In this letter, Paul expresses a vision of unity and equality beyond social distinctions, saying: “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” This verse reflects the idea that all people are equal in spiritual worth and value, countering rigid hierarchies based on gender.
- Proverbs 31: The description of the “Proverbs 31 woman” presents a vision of a woman who is both independent and industrious, managing her household, making business decisions, and contributing to her family’s prosperity. This passage challenges the notion that a woman’s role is one of simple subordination and shows her as a capable, equal partner.
- 1 Peter 3:7: Peter calls on husbands to honour their wives and treat them as “heirs with you of the gracious gift of life”, recognising their equal spiritual status. He also warns that failure to honour their wives will hinder their prayers, indicating the seriousness with which respect in marriage is regarded.
A contemporary interpretation of these verses in Ephesians often focuses on the spirit of mutual respect, love, and partnership rather than a rigid hierarchy. While the verses were written within the context of a patriarchal society, modern understandings emphasise the call for both partners to treat each other with deep care, respect and devotion. In these and other passages, the Bible presents a foundation for mutual respect, partnership and shared responsibility, suggesting that relationships should be built on mutual care and respect rather than hierarchical dominance.
These ideas provide a fuller context and help to balance interpretations that seem to favour gender inequality, showing a broader biblical perspective on partnership in marriage. Given today’s emphasis on gender equality, these passages can inspire a relationship dynamic where both partners are equally committed to uplifting one another, supporting each other’s well-being and sharing responsibilities. In this view, these verses call for a balance of respect and selflessness on both sides, emphasising a partnership that honours both individual agency and shared goals.
Ambiguous
The image of the First Lady kneeling before her husband the President is can most certainly be interpreted as an omen of inequality rather than of unconstrained love. The Bible – which should never be used a legal reference document – is inevitably ambiguous on the topic. Let us hope that this anachronistic display does not cause a rise in gender-based violence. Changing mindsets, embracing pluralism, modernisation, promoting inclusivity and moving forward to a new era, are terms that have been used in the euphoria of the election result.
The world is watching Botswana following its remarkably peaceful transition of power and many are hoping that Botswana will rise to the challenge, committing to progress, respect, and genuine partnership in every sphere – public and private.